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Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
I am a white African. Contradiction in terms? I think not. Sometimes my blog will be serious; sometimes sad; sometimes irreverent; sometimes witty; always my truth simply written.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

BASIC INSTINCTS

Quarrelsome chatter
draws me outdoors to observe
three noisy sparrows
angrily fluttering wings
in a timeless mating dance.


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10 comments:

  1. Ah, the eternal triangle. I don't know much about the tanka (or other poetic forms, for that matter), but this works for me. I can see and hear this courtship. Welcome to One Shot.

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  2. the angry mating dancing...the fight between fear of the unknown and the desire...i like the tension in this...

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  3. Thanks for stopping by and your comments. Much appreciated. I have changed the line 4th line as I realised that my syllable count was out. Hope it still works.

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  4. Sounds like there was some competition going on there! Neat One Shot, Catherine!

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  5. timeless ... good one. I liked it...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  6. The really intruging line in this is "draws me outdoors." Nice one.

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  7. Sparrows? In a menage a trois? Who would have guessed?

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  8. They were a really excited trio... Jabbering louder and faster than an auctioneer at a cattle auction... Thanks for stopping by everyone and, more especially, taking the time to comment.

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  9. i am a avid bird lover...so this grabbed my attention and set my mind wandering...thanks...pete

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  10. Thanks for stopping by Pete. Appreciate it.

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