About Me

My photo
Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
I am a white African. Contradiction in terms? I think not. Sometimes my blog will be serious; sometimes sad; sometimes irreverent; sometimes witty; always my truth simply written.

Friday, January 7, 2011


Today it struck me.
I realized that you will never again
see a sunrise or sunset
nor the diamond-studded night sky
nor feel the wind on your face
nor smell the wetness of the earth
after a summer rainstorm
nor hear the birds chirping merrily
in a canopy of spring green.

Today it struck me.
I realized that you will never again
sit with me at a table and break bread
nor tell me that you love me
nor update me on what you’ve been doing
nor gossip with me about siblings
not present to defend themselves
nor simply criticize me, sometimes harshly,
as only you knew how.

Today it struck me.
I realized that you will never again
lose yourself in a massive jigsaw puzzle
nor read a good book
nor complete a cryptic crossword
nor savour the chewy saltiness of biltong
or the sweetness of wholenut chocolate
nor knit another pair of bootees or jacket
for your latest great-grandchild.

Today it struck me.
I realized that you will never again
be a vibrant and competent woman
nor be a loving mother or mother-in-law
nor be a caring sister or friend,
nor be a grandmother or great grandmother
to those who may still bless our lives
nor share all our hopes, our fears and tears
then bless us with your wisdom.

Today it struck me.
I realized that I will never again
be able to hear your voice
nor touch your hand nor give you a hug
nor fight furiously with you
nor tell you what you wanted to hear
as opposed to what I should have said
nor simply relish the good food
you placed before me at a meal.

Today it struck me.
I realized the end of our road has come.
You will move on now whilst I,
flesh of your flesh and blood of your blood,
having had you somewhere in my life
for every second that I have drawn breath—
no, even since my conception—
I… I must go on without your presence.
Realization dawns, and my heart cracks,
then shatters into a million pieces,
as heaven calls your name.

I’m sorry I took you for granted.
Godspeed, dearest mommy, till we meet again.

In loving memory
Elaine Marion Potgieter
9 June 1925 - 5 August 2010
I wrote this the night before my mother passed on, as my heart choked me and unbearable grief coursed down my cheeks.  The knowledge that my mom had reached the end of her road was just too much for me to bear.  I am posting it here in honour of my mother who was an exceptional woman.  My greatest regret is that I didn't tell her how exceptional she actually was. MHDSRIP.

(All rights reserved)

No comments:

Post a Comment